Wednesday, May 1, 2013

In Peru they just use dynamite



Hi there! Today I want you to meet Leslie. Leslie forwarded me this e-mail recently even though I am in absolutely no way the intended Rachel Williams and in no way is the intended Rachel Williams me. Over the years, Leslie's been one of my favorite senders of e-mails from strangers meant for other Rachel Williamseses.











Amanda, who it sounds like is Garrett's sister, is a pain in the ass. 

OK, re: bruschetta. Did you know the proper way to pronounce it is brus-KET-a? 


So I'm studying abroad in Florence (not now dummy, in college) and one night our professor summons everyone into the dining room. We’re a little unsure what's going on, so we self-soothe with limoncello. Then (sit down, this is dramatic) in walks Katie Lee Joel.

You know her? Billy Joel's child bride/Miami University's own Katie Lee Joel. 

Not like Billy Bob Thornton or Tommy Lee Jones. 

Katie "Lee" Joel.
Katie Joel née Lee.
Katie Joel whose middle name at birth was not Lee.

Are we good?

She whips out a port-a-kitchen and starts giving us a cooking lesson (?). 

She’s  standing there chopping garlic and speaking in broken Italian when someone says it "brush-etta." She quit chopping and stared at this person all icy like. “It’s brus-KET-uh.” 

Bam! Game changing! 

I don't remember much else because I was busy trying to block the mental image of anyone 
Katie having, um, relations with the Piano Man. He’s like 60 years older. Eww.
She told us she calls him "Bill.” Huh.  I feel like he's  more of a Billy. Wow, all that from bruschetta!

Ok, “Yunior.” Can we all agree that this needs to become Yu Darvish's official nickname immediately? Yu + Junior = Yunior. Pow, there I go again with the sports. Anyway, this Strawberry Reservoir is in Utah, which will become central to Garrett's story later. Also, am I on glue or am I reading correctly that in Peru they fish with dynamite? Seems a bit much, but hey, YOLO.










One thing I appreciate about Leslie is how she makes you think she’s wrapping it up but then proceeds to slap out another half page about tulips. Also, who the hell is Matt?

Leslie is good people. I like Leslie. 

:) 

1 comment:

  1. I am really wishing I had an email account that was so common that I got to read so many amazing emails like this. Love every one of them. Keep 'em coming! :)

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